My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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