You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
