yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ketchup is God's man juice
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
