Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
