...so i touched it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
