That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
