Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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