Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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