Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
