thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
