She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
