Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
