Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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