It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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