is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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