I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
