Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
