dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
