super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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