This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
