I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
