Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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