I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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