you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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