apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
