sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
