Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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