worst night to have a conscience
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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