yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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