He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
