i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
