She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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