and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
