i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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