Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
