nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
