kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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