woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
