so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
