we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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