i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
