In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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