only if we run a train.
done.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize