I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
