His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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