Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
