my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
