I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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