Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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