I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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