Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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