Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
one might say we're banned from that church
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
