***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
