her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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