there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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