He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
