I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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