she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
