life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
