My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
