So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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