It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
